Has anyone seen my endorphins?

Man, oh man. This has been one of my worst training weeks ever -- so much so that I feel like I just started running for the first time...and I have been running regularly for the last 8 weeks! A five-miler earlier in the week felt like 10; eight felt like 18. I just haven't gotten in the groove. Blah. Sometimes you go out when you don't feel like it, but eventually you start to feel a little better...the endorphins kick in and you're glad you went out anyway. Not this week. Hrmph. Every step felt like lead. Every breath felt tight. Even my clothes didn't seem to fit right this week! Fooey.

I seriously thought how in the hell am I ever going do a marathon when a few miles feels like scaling Mt. Everest...ok, I exaggerate, but I've done two half marathons this year, several 5Ks and a 10K. This is not new stuff. It's amazing how this affects your mind. Three bad training runs in a row and I'm thinking to myself: maybe I am crazy to do a marathon and I should just throw in the towel. I was reading a post from a fellow TNTer and blogger Jessica. She also had a not-so-great week but posted this quote: "You have a choice. You can throw in the towel, or you can use it to wipe the sweat off of your face." (Gatorade ad).

It was time to check mah-self.

I know I needed to get over it. Aside from my crappy runs I did have an AWESOME outpouring of donations toward my TNT goal this week! I'm almost at 40% to goal, which is great. I still have a ways to go, but I'm off to a good start. A ginormous THANK YOU to everyone who has donated so far...you have no idea how much this means!!

Today's run was a little under 10 miles and I felt good...finally! Carol ran with me this morning and it was great to get my mind off this suffocating heat and the pounding of my tired legs. Plus, afterward I rewarded myself with some new running clothes (that fit)...a little retail therapy never hurt anyone.

So, just like anything you do...you have good days and you have bad days...it's the getting up part that's important. I leave you with a running scene from Forrest Gump just because I think it's funny...but unlike Forrest, I do happen to have a particular reason for running.

New Beginnings

I'm not really sure where to start. I guess I could say the last month has been about new beginnings. A new start to my training, and in more exciting news, a new start in married life: my best friend Amanda tied the knot with her her awesome man Mark. The wedding was in steamy New Orleans and it was a reunion among really amazing friends and family. Steamy is an understatement in NOLA, but the air was thick with a whole lotta love and good energy. This gathering was especially exciting because my three very best girlfriends - my girls - were going to be there...Dawn was coming from Boston and Evie and I were coming in from Atlanta to celebrate and be with each other...and it was an amazing couple of days, but I will say it really started off sadly. Brian and I left for NOLA a few days before the big day, so we were waiting at the airport gate early in the morning. I was killing time checking my email and saw Dawn sent me a message that Eve posted to her blog the night before. So like I often do, I checked her latest blog entry.

This time I was stunned. I was finding it hard to process the words on the screen. Her cancer was back after only 3 months since her last chemo. My throat instantly grew tight and the tears brimmed over my face. I show Brian and we just hug each other in sadness. I read her post again; I couldn't believe it. We would be seeing Evie and Michael in a few hours and I was sick wondering how they were...would Evie be ok?

We land in NOLA and we all meet up in the French Quarter, and Evie is smiling. I'm wasn't sure how much she felt like talking about the news, but all I thought to do was just hug her as tightly as I could. We took her lead and just set out to have fun for the next few days celebrating and hanging out. On Saturday it was hard to say bye to Eve (she was leaving before the rest of us), because just under the surface was the reality of this heartbreaking news. The strange timing of this whole thing is that Evie found out she had lymphoma a few weeks before her own wedding not even a year ago. A lot to take in. She has such a hard road ahead of her, beyond anything I can possibly imagine; heart wrenching and incredibly difficult both emotionally and physically. But, I know Evie - and she is always finding the good, the beauty, the light in every situation. She stayed strong all last year through her treatment, and I know she will do it again.

So, big breath. It's with some new-found motivation that I keep on in my training for a new race with Team in Training. It's given me new perspective on this race we call life.

P.S. In the spirit of new beginnings...I updated the look of my blog too - I hope you like it. And don't you love this pic of Evie and Micheal watching Amanda and Mark come down the aisle? I do too.